My Parent Has Alzheimers, Family Fears

The word caregiver has many different meanings. Whether giving the physical care yourself or over seeing the physical care of your parent/parents, The one thing all caregivers have in common is the desire to provide care in a safe, healthy, and loving environment. When you make the decision to care for aging parents, it could mean keeping them in their home and bring in outside caregivers. It may mean moving them into your home and you being the caregiver. It also could mean moving your parents into an assisted living community. Whatever option fits your situation, one thing is for sure. Adjusting to the changes in the relationship you had with your parent has changed and is uncomfortable for both of you. We all have a certain images of our parents. Our parents have cared for us, protected us and provided a since of stability in our lives. At first the forgetfulness we see in our parent may be mild but some cause for concern. From our point of view, the concern is for their safety and well-being. From our parents point of view it is the beginning of the end. The end of their independence and position as the matriarch of the family. In essence, they go from being the caregiver to the one in need of care. Before you can begin talking to your parent about the life altering changes to their life that are going to have to take place, you need to come to terms with the natural emotions you both are going to have to deal with. The hardest emotion children of parents with Alzheimers deal with is the slow but obvious changes in personality and behavior. You both are dealing with unknown territory so to speak. Knowledge will bring understanding. Research the disease, understanding the disease will help you keep a proper perspective of your relationship. Knowledge of the physical origin of the disease will help in the understanding that the difficult behaviors are not personal. A good example is on the days your loved one may not appear to recognize you or responds to you in an angry or unkind way. Knowing he or she is reacting out of confusion and fear will save you from the hurt feelings and guilt that we all have experienced our whole life when we felt our parents were displeased with us. The parent-child relationship is very complex and at times fragile never the less the bond is indestructible. Whatever option you choose when it comes to providing care for a parent with alzheimes you must remember self-care. Alzheimers disease is a family journey. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally will provide you with the coping skills you will need. Understanding, acknowledgment, and acceptance are the goals. Remember the ultimate destination is always the journey.
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